I am not there. I do not sleep. (secretlytodream) wrote,
I am not there. I do not sleep.

I wrote this novel just for you: notes

part three | masterpost

So, ok. I admit that this year is kinda horror-moody for me, at least so far, and this is another proof. The idea was born in 0,3 second, in the beginning of January, one evening while talking with eva_lain in isq. It was like, "let's play" - "ok".

And then we played in this "left or right" thing - kinda very stupid game, especially when you're bored out of your mind. So, basically this is what happens when you listen to Placebo with your best on-line friend a.k.a. the angstiest person in the world.

The only problem was, coming out of this game, that I highly doubted that it's possibly to write non-con-ish kind of thing with PG rating. So I gave up on the "left or right" idea and think up a little plot there.

In my head this is exactly how it could be and more to that - how it should be. There couldn't be a happy ending in a way we all know and love it. And no matter how many times I thought about it, Jensen always made this choice, because it's just the way he thinks and this is how desperate he was. Still is. And this is the way they love each other, because they're both a little wrong in the head, you know? This is my story about love between those two.
But I still think it is a happy ending. For this story, for this situation, for them. Besides, the door is always open, you know?

I really want to say a few thank yous. First, to my favorite angsty person eva_lain because her "WORK!" is always cheer leading, motivating and most of the times kicking ass kind of thing. And 'cause without her there wouldn't be anything in the first place.

And of course, thank you to my awesome beta sulfuricfusion, without her this monster wouldn't readable at all. With you beta'ing was almost even more interesting that the actual process of writing it ♥

Hope you like reading it as much as I liked it to write ♥
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